Before Immortality comes Happiness
by Lilyfish
Summary: You all know me as a merciless killer. But did it ever occur to you what happened when I was mortal?


Before Immortality comes Happiness

_Those who are quick to judge me, I beg you, hear my story._

I stand here. Listening. Watching. Waiting. The sea beneath me writhes in turmoil, sending flecks of water against my cheeks, numbing them to the ferocious battering of the wind. I look up into the sky; the clouds are a deep purple, brooding in the oncoming storm. Their wispy arms reach out to me, trying to curl around my body, intent on trapping me in a misty prison. I am standing on the edge of a bone white cliff, which towers above the swirling grey mass below me.

A minute movement flickers in the corner of my vision. I incline my head towards it. Nothing. I ball my hands into fists, trying to stem the steady onslaught of fear that is building up inside me.

I wonder when he will arrive. I was told to meet him here; to wait for him all night if necessary.

As the minutes crawl by, my edginess gnaws away at my stomach. I jump at every wave that laps the cliff side, every wing beat of the sea birds above my head. I am afraid.

A rustle behind me makes my heart clench in fear. I whip round, faster than a hare. I stare at the bushes, just a few yards from where I stand. They do not move again. The ferns continue to sway softly in the breeze, yielding no secrets as to what, or _who_ had created the sound. I eye them warily, silently challenging whoever stands behind them to face me.

A small chuckle comes from behind. I gasp, but before I can turn around, a hand clamps over my lips, rough and careless.

"Victoria…." he breathes into my ear. So he had come after all.

James.

"Did you really think I would leave you out here, all alone in the cold?" he croons, swivelling me around so that my face is resting against his chest.

I shake my head mutely, feeling my blood pounding in my ears. He laughs softly; a deep menacing sound that fills my head, terrifying me. "Shall we go for a walk?" he asks, politeness masking his concealed threat. Again, I nod, still saying nothing. I know I am powerless to escape him. My hands tremble violently as he clasps them and leads me down to the shoreline.

The sharp flints pierce my bare feet as I walk over them. I wince in pain as I feel blood trickle from the wound onto the stone. A flame comes alight in James's eyes as he watches the sticky scarlet liquid congeal. He yanks my arm along harder; his entire body seems to be gripped in an excited fervour.

And all the while I am petrified.

I am seventeen years old and I am going to die.

I don't know how or why, but ever since the day I met James, I knew my life was as good as over.

Ever since that day when he looked round in church and smiled at me; ensnaring me, my thoughts, my life. Trapping me forever. Ever since that day, I belonged to him and him alone. No one could touch me. No one could help me.

No one could save me.

And now the night has finally come; the one I have been dreading. And yet, somehow it is a relief. Never more will I be subjected to his torturous mind games, his hypnotic voice, lying to me about how much he loves me. My soul can rest easy; my friends and family will know I am happy. For they too have, even if inadvertently, suffered at James's cruel hand. They could see what he was doing to my mind; twisting it, warping it until it was unrecognisable…

James comes to an abrupt halt.

His iron grip on my hand suddenly begins to tighten, until the pain is too much to bear. I hear my bones shatter under his merciless grip. A scream of agony tears through my throat, but he is quick to silence it with a kiss. He breaks off, as I collapse at his feet, sobbing brokenly and clutching my shattered hand.

Why was he doing this to me? Did it give him some kind of sick pleasure, making me even more helpless? He knew I was utterly powerless against his strange, inhuman abilities.

He is laughing again. He reaches down, and gently pulls me up into his arms. I shudder at the icy cold feeling of his skin; granite hard and bloodless.

He walks back towards the cliff wall, clutching me tightly. I squint into the abundant gloom, and am just able to make out the dim shape of a cave opening, ringed with seaweed and more pieces of flint. Of course, I think bitterly. What better place to kill a claustrophobic, than in a dark, dank, enclosed space?

Except it is not so enclosed. As he ducks into the cave, I am able to observe that, it is in fact, a very large cave. There seems to be no end to it, it just yawns out into the thick impenetrable darkness, never ceasing.

He sets me down, with incredible gentleness, against the smooth cold rock. He straightens up, and looks down at me, his head tilted to one side; regarding me with faint amusement. Somehow, somewhere, I manage to find my voice.

"What?" I ask, my small frightened voice ricocheting off the walls in a thousand little echoes: _"What what what?"_

He chuckles, the same horrid sound from the cliff top. He crouches down to face me, and runs one long white finger across the length of my cheekbone. I recoil instinctively, trying to bat him away, but a spasm of pain shoots through my broken hand.

"Don't" he whispers softly. A shaft of moonlight emanates through the cave opening, illuminating his perfect, ghostly features. His eyes are a coal black. They look almost…hungry. No, don't be silly. I shake away the thought.

He sits back on his heels, regarding me with an emotion I cannot read. "Victoria…there's something I should have told you, a long time ago; when I first met you," he pauses briefly, searching for my reaction. I keep my face carefully blank, and let him go on. "I knew, from the day that I met you, that you feared me." He stares down at the ground seemingly ashamed of himself. "But I also know that you love me. You would follow me to the edge of a volcano. I can see it in your eyes" he looks at me, daring me to contradict him. I do not. He takes a deep breath, as though bracing himself to say something he did not dare to. "So I think it's only fair that you know the truth about me." He takes my face in his hands.

"I'm not human, Victoria."

I have to bite on my lip hard to stop myself from crying out in horror. I bite down too hard. It draws blood.

His eyes shoot to my lips.

He draws his mouth back over his teeth, which are coated in a viscous liquid that is too white to be saliva. He lets out a low hiss, and crouches back, his muscles tensing as though ready to spring. His eyes, previously black, have turned a vibrant red, fiery and deranged. He no longer looks like James, but a monster.

I jump up, and this time I am unable to hold back. I scream for all I am worth; desperate, hysterical screams. I know it is pointless. We are miles from any kind of civilisation. No one will hear me.

Just as he had planned it.

I tear out of the cave, but he lunges onto my back with terrible speed, dragging me back inside. He pins me to the floor with his body, while I struggle fruitlessly under him, sobbing and screaming; blind with terror. He holds me there, until I have no energy left to scream, and my throat is hoarse from crying.

"I'm sorry" he whispers. He flips me deftly onto my back and brushes a tendril of red hair away from my face. "I didn't mean to lose control this soon."

I am unable to make out the tone of his voice. Whether it is mocking or pitying, I cannot tell.

"W...w...what do you mean?" I ask in a hushed voice.

He does not answer me at first, but instead looks down at me for a very long time.

He gets up, and paces to the back of the cave, his figure now ensconced in shadows. He has his back facing away from me, and his head is tilted down.

And then he said it. He said those three words that struck more horror into my heart than anything else that had gone before them.

"I'm a vampire."

My body begins to tremble violently, but it has nothing to do with the cold. His arms pull me upright, and wrap around me tightly to stop the trembling. "What are you thinking?" he asks. Now I can decipher the tone. He is finding this amusing.

"I'm s…so scared" I whisper into his arms, shaking my head in disbelief.

But that night, scared did not even begin to cover what I felt.

Because I had thought, when I came down here to die tonight, it would be a perfectly human death. Strangulation. Drowning, perhaps. Anything was better than this.

But instead he wanted to drink my blood.

He wanted to slit me open and drain the liquid contents that kept my heart beating.

I shake my head again, and try to push him away, but to little avail. He sighs, and pulls his head back to look at me. I avoid his gaze in fear, and instead avert my eyes to look at the pieces of flint on the beach. The storm has calmed now and the waves are washing over the flint with soothing sounds; like a lullaby.

"I love you Victoria," he whispers "and I have no intention of losing you. Please trust me; it's what's best for the both of us."

I whip my head back round to look at him incredulously, all fear momentarily forgotten.

"Drinking my blood is a _good _thing for me?" I whisper. This time it was my turn to let out a manic cackle. "Oh that's a funny one, maybe-"

But he doesn't let me finish, and forces a kiss onto my lips, much to my protest. He draws away, smiling at my indignance.

"No," he says softly "if I did that, you would die. All I need to do is put some of the venom into your body" he draws back his lips back again, showing me his teeth.

His _venom. _I cringe, realising what the white substance on his teeth had been.

"You will become like me. We can live together for eternity; no one will ever be able to separate us!"

He wants me to be like _him! _A vampire.

Someone who goes around, killing innocent people; people with family, friends, futures.

Innocent people like _me._

No. No way am I going through with this.

"I can't James," I whisper "I'm sorry."

I watch his expression go from bewilderment, to annoyance.

And then to fury.

He grabs me by my neck, and hauls me up, slamming me against the wall. I cry out in pain as my injured hand is crumpled behind me. I cannot breathe. As I gasp desperately for breath, he suddenly throws me to ground with such force; I hear my leg give a sickening crunch. Even though my throat is already dry and cracked with my previous screams, I still manage to give way to another one. "Stop it James! Please, please just _stop it" _I plead pathetically, upturning my pain wracked, tear stained face to his.

He shook his head.

"I love you Victoria" he says simply, his previously angry face now utterly devoid of any emotion. He leans down, and gathers me gently into his arms, with such care that my broken hand and leg do not even so much as twinge. He presses his face into my hair, and breathes in softly. I feel a trickle of wetness, and realise he is crying. He slowly trails his mouth from my hair, down my eyes, nose and lips, until it is pressed lightly in the hollow of my neck. He pauses for a moment, listening to the last, soft tremors of my heartbeats.

I wriggle hopelessly in a last final struggle to escape.

It is too late, as I feel his teeth pierce my throat.

And I was gone.

_So that is my story._

_I was Victoria Crayford. I was seventeen. Happy. I had friends and family who loved me, and I loved them. _

_I had no intention of killing Bella Swann. I came to warn her, warn her about the life she was about to choose._

_And what did he do? He killed me._

_Just like James did._


End file.
